What Will I Leave?

 I turned 62 a few months ago.  Normally another birthday wouldn't bother me, but for some reason this one hit me hard.  I suddenly realized that my time on this planet is getting pretty short.  The last time I saw life expectancy numbers for the US I think the average was 79.1 years.  At first I thought I was OK with the thought that, statistically speaking, I should have about another 17 years left.  You can do a lot of stuff in 17 years.  Then I realized that 79.1 was an average and the life expectancy for men is only 73.2 years.  I really thought I could use that extra 6 years for something important, but now I need to cram everything into 11 years.

Now the thought of leaving this existence doesn't particularly scare me except for the fact that I've never done it before that I know of and I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing it correctly.  I suppose I'll figure it out when the time comes.  After all, billions of people before me have been able to stumble through dying without any formal training.  Some were very good at it and some were not so good, but they're all dead for sure.  You don't get to put it off until you get some training.  I'd rather do a good job and be remembered as someone who seemed to know what he was doing at the end.

So the part that hit me so hard was when I asked myself "How will I be remembered?"  I'm not sure if I've done or made anything that people will point to and say "I know the guy who did that.  He's dead now but he left this great thing for the benefit of the rest of us who are still here."  I feel some amount of pressure to make sure I have a few of those things done before I go.  I decided to take a personal inventory.

As I considered what I will leave for those who outlast me or come along well after I'm gone, I decided that there actually are a few things that might be of value to someone in the future.  I have four great kids, a lot of stuff that I've written over the years, a large body of photography work, and countless memories with friends, family, foes, and random people I've met over the years.  Obviously my memories will go with me, but hopefully the memory of me, whether good or bad, will last in the memories of others I've encountered over the years at least for a while.  I don't have a bunch of possessions, real estate, or a big stack of money stashed away somewhere (sorry kids).  I do, however, have a couple of pretty great cats.

So there.  I guess I really HAVE done something in those 62 years, even if I didn't realize I was doing it at the time.  Well, I better get this post finished up.  Only 11 years left and a lot of stuff left to do.

Note:  If you're reading this post and thinking it is some kind of goodbye note that will likely be followed by a self-inflicted early exit from this world, you can just stop it.  I'm not even close to being done with this life yet.