Beware the Silent T

 Something really strange is happening to the English language in the United States.  I first noticed it a little over a year ago.  At first I thought it was just one person who needed to go back to kindergarten for reprogramming, but now it is widespread.  It is in the news, TV shows, movies, and in daily face-to-face conversations.  I hear it more in the under 40 age group so us older people may be less likely to contract it.  You might be wondering if I'm describing a new virus or food-born illness, but I'm not.  It is even more insidious.

I'm talking about improperly placed silent Ts.  "What is that?" you may ask.  It happens when someone speaks and uses a word with the letter T as the first letter of the second (or sometimes the third or fourth) syllable and does not speak the T.  They just treat the venerable T as if it didn't even exist.

Let me give you a couple of examples so you'll know what to listen for.  We'll use the name of the college I attended since I hear this one all the time here in Omaha.  I went to Creighton University.  People with this affliction do not say the T that is the first letter of the second syllable in Creighton.  In real English, you would pronounce this as "CRAY-tun" (forgive the pronunciation notation if it's not correct, but you get the idea).  When pronounced properly, the second syllable would sound the same as when you say the word "ton."  They pronounce Creighton like "CRAY-un" and the second syllable sounds like the first syllable in the word "underwear."  "CRAY-un."  Like "CRAY-on" with a U instead of the O.

The strange thing is that between the syllables they still insert some kind of hard stop that allows the listener to clearly differentiate the two syllables rather than letting them run together.  "CRAY-un."  I can feel my face turn red with anger every time I hear that one.

The other example is the word "water."  These sick minds make the mouths connected to them say "WAH-urr."  Again, it makes my blood boil (no pun intended).  What was wrong with "WAH-tur?" When I hear one of the local news anchors speaking like this for the entire duration of a 30 minute news show I leave the room, go to my computer, and try to locate a local anger management class that I can immediately attend.

You might be wondering why this bugs me enough to write an entire blog post about it and, to be honest with you, I just don't know but it does.  You can't just change the English language because you're too fucking lazy to use it correctly.  It doesn't mean you're one of the cool kids.  It means you're fucking lazy and you need to repeat elementary school so you can get the basic things right.

Ok, that's enough of that for now.  I'm done ranting, but I'm still mad about the whole situation and if you speak to me like this during a conversation you can be sure I'm not listening to anything you say.  I'll be thinking about the fact that you deserve to have projectile diarrhea until you learn to speak properly again.

On another note, I hope everyone had a great holiday season...