So I was reading an article on Bloomberg tonight about the effect of growing up around smart people on our primary socialization. If you're not familiar with primary socialization, it's basically the process that all of us go through as children where we figure out the basic concepts of right and wrong and how we're going to deal with the rest of the world throughout our lives. That's a pretty weak explanation, but I'm not an expert on this stuff so that's the best I can offer right now. If you want a better definition, just look it up and figure it out for yourself.
Anyway, the premise of the article was that, if you grew up around smart people, you would have a different way of looking at life than you would if you grew up without smart people around you. To tell you the truth, I don't know if that's true or not. But I decided to write about it anyway and tell you about my personal experiences.
My parents are smart. Very smart. There's no doubt about it. They're both retired university professors. That makes them huge repositories of information within their respective fields, but I think it also makes them something more than that. These people can think and reason like crazy. And not just about one thing. You can throw something really difficult at them and they just seem to effortlessly figure it out. I'm telling you it's just nuts to see and hear them do this. Sometimes I think that if you wrote down all the problems of the world and went over to their house and made them some kick ass shrimp risotto, then they could figure everything out and give you a viable solution for everything before the dishes are done.
My parents didn't set arbitrary goals for me. They expected me to figure that out for myself. I particularly remember a discussion I had with my mother when I was trying to figure out where to go for college and what career path I wanted to take. We talked about my options for awhile and the part I remember most was when she said "I really don't care what you do with your life as long as you do your best and you're happy. If you want to be a neurosurgeon that's great. If you want to work at a gas station and pump gas, then that's great too. As long as you do your best and you're happy. That's all that matters. As long as you're happy and you do your best, then we'll be proud of you."
At the time I was relieved because I felt like I really didn't have to live up to a standard of education and job performance that I had thought they expected of me. It was a huge burden taken off my shoulders. Well, kind of...
As I continued through life I learned a few things. Among them was that, although my mom had said those things, what I did with my life was really up to me. Smart woman. Very smart. All the tools were available to me, but how I decided to use them was completely up to me. I didn't figure out what that really meant for a long time.
So, here's the deal. My parents gave me enough latitude to figure everything out for myself, but they were always there to help me when I couldn't quite do that. They were smart enough to do that. I hope that I can do the same things for my kids.
So, to get back to the subject, yes, I grew up around really smart people and I think they had a huge effect on how I turned out. Whether that's a good or bad effect probably won't be determined until after I'm gone. Yes, I think the people I grew up around definitely affected how I turned out, for better or worse. They were smart. Really smart. I hope that eventually my kids say the same thing about me.